Tell The Stories That Scare You Most
by Amanda Fink Mandell
Multi-hyphenate creator Michaela Coel is inspiring us all to dig a little deeper.
When Michaela Coel’s name was announced as the 2021 Emmy winner in the category of writing for her hit HBO show, I May Destroy You, I reacted by cheering and clapping with excitement. In that moment she broke a glass ceiling and made herstory. She had become the first black woman to win an Emmy for writing for a limited series. As the camera panned to her in the audience when her name was announced, she appeared to be searching for something in her purse. When she found what she was looking for, she let out an exhale. A deep breath as though to center herself and take a moment before approaching the stage. When Michaela reached the podium, she thanked the audience, the members of the academy, and then began to read from the small piece of paper she had unearthed from her purse.
Michaela had prepared a little something which she proceeded to share with the room (and for anyone else tuning in:)
Write the tales that scare you… I dare you. In a world that entices us to browse through the lives of others to help us better determine how we feel about ourselves and to in turn feel the need to be constantly visible — for visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success — do not be afraid to disappear. From it, from us, for a while and see what comes to you in the silence.
She then thanked a select few before dedicating her story to all survivors of sexual assault.
Upon hearing these words, tears began to streaming down my face. Wow. Perhaps it was what I needed to hear in that moment or maybe it was her commanding and composed presence on stage that made it hit me even harder. It was a perfect speech. She personified the complete 180 of her fellow Emmy winners who throughout the night rose to the stage totally frantic and emotional, stumbling over their words, and crying about how they didn’t think they would win. “I didn’t write anything down” they repeated one after the other before proceeding to thank the millions of people who supported them throughout their career. Michaela Cole’s speech was the opposite of that. She had something to say because she knew damn well how much she had overcome and how hard she had worked for that win. She deserved to win, and she knew it.
If this is the first time you have heard her name then say it out loud because it’s a name to be remembered. Michaela Coel is a heartbreaking, poignant and masterful storyteller. She won for the show she created, wrote, starred in, directed and executive produced. A show which myself and many others devoured during the pandemic. A show that, week after week, left me shattered into a million pieces. A show she turned down to Netflix because she wanted to own her copyright. Every episode was extraordinarily painful to watch and so raw it made my skin crawl. A show about what happens to us after experiencing trauma in our lives. A show that was inspired and mirrored her own true story.
The day after hearing her speech I was still haunted by her words yet wanted to know more. I yearned to know more of her story, of how she came to be, and the struggles and prejudices she had to face as a black woman in Hollywood.
When I deep-dove into her world, I stumbled across the below 2018 lecture (which you are hopefully listening to as you read this). As so many of her predecessors, she had no choice but to carve out her own path in the entertainment business. Yet against all the odds and discrimination, she persevered. And by doing so, she kept the door open for others. To me, one of the many themes of this lecture is transparency. Michaela wants to be transparent for those who don’t know the rules of the game, never mind how to break them. She was forced to make hard decisions throughout both career and in life but ultimately exercised the power of saying no in order to remain true to herself.
I hope that you enjoy Michaela Coel’s story as much as I do. A story which to me demonstrates the enlightened path of empowering oneself through their own scary story as a means to bring about change.