As we wrap up the last few warm, sunny days of summer my mind can’t help but wander to my “back-to-school scaries.”

This past weekend, spent with good friends in Newport, RI, included boxes arriving full of back to school supplies; fashion shows with sparkly, new, tiny sneakers and all of the excitement and trepidation of a child’s first ride upon the big, yellow school bus.

Going back to school can be a lot for any kid at the age of 5, but just imagine what it must feel like for an LGBTQIA+ kid. I clearly remember getting called out as gay in school – because apparently I carried my books the wrong way… No one ever coached me on how not to be pegged as a “faggot” – before I even knew what the word meant. For me, school mostly consisted of trying not be called on to speak (because I sounded too gay) or trying not to swing my arms as I walked to my seat in class (because that was apparently too effeminate).

So, most days were spent: counting down the minutes on the classroom wall clock while planning out how to get across the schoolyard without getting jumped by the class bullies and finally make it home safely. This feat seemed impossible in my 5-year-old mind (and my home was literally just across the street from the elementary school). 

As you can probably tell by now my first few years of school were a total nightmare. It took me years to convince everyone that I was straight before I even had the chance to figure out I was actually gay.

This morning, after sending our favorite little kindergartner off on her first school bus ride I began to wonder: Are things any better for LGBTQIA+ kids in today’s current atmosphere of acceptance and gay pride?

I came across an article on HRC.org about an LGBTQIA+ drag kid that I have been a huge fan of for many years Desmond Is Amazing . Desmond is a real hero to so many of our LGBTQIA+ families. An LGBTQ+ teenager and advocate who is known for their award-winning drag performances. Desmond is also a genderfluid runway model, motivational public speaker, author and drag performer.

When asked by writer Jose Soto  What does back to school mean to you? As a young LGBTQ+ person, what are some feelings you have about going back to school?

Desmond: For me, back to school is a new opportunity to start fresh each year. I look forward to all of the possibilities and it’s exciting. For instance, I might make new friends or do even better with my grades. I look forward to meeting my teachers because I feel that education is very important and teachers are amazing people for taking on the job of giving us a good education.

I don’t really get nervous about going to school. I don’t let the bullies at school get to me. I’m very comfortable with who I am so what they have to say is just an opinion and nothing more. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I don’t have to accept their opinion of me. I always say, “be yourself, always, and pay the haters no mind cause they will never be as fierce as you and I.”

Just as expected, the bullies aren’t going anywhere and LGBTQIA+ kids still have to stay strong and try their best to just ignore the haters. I can only hope that schools are doing more now to look out for any child that is being bullied at school. Most kids that are being bullied do not want to draw any more attention to themselves so they will be the last person to admit they’re being tortured. Teachers and other staff members really must make it a point to be very aware of how each kid is being treated in school and in the schoolyard. Most of these children are not use to being subjected to such hate when they are out of their safe haven surrounded by friends and family.

Jose Soto also asked Desmond: As someone who is living authentically as both a young LGBTQIA+ person and a teen drag performer, what work do schools need to do to create inclusive school environments for people like yourself?

Desmond: There are several ways that schools can create a more inclusive learning environment. The most important thing to me is that if someone is bullied, the school and the bully’s parents will be held responsible for the bully’s behavior. The school must have a no-tolerance bullying policy and consequences should be given and documented. The bullying policy should be in every student’s orientation package at the beginning of the year and posted in every classroom, lunchroom, auditorium, gym, and hallway so students know how to report bullying incidents. I also feel that there should be gender-neutral bathrooms and safe locker rooms. Lastly, I feel that LGBTQIA+ history needs to be taught in schools. If people are taught the history of the LGBTQIA+ community, then people who don’t understand our community can learn more about us, where we came from, and what we stand for.

I have so much respect for this fierce kid and really hope to someday meet them and their kick-ass parents.  Perhaps Storytelling for Change can create a short docu-style video about his story.

It is so important for other LGBTQIA+ kids to know that they are not alone and that living their truth is the best way to flourish and change others’ perspectives of who we all really are in this world. 

Each and every kid deserves to feel just as AMAZING as Desmond.